How funny. Really, how funny. First and foremost, I will let you know, I've had an abortion. I was 5 weeks along. I was 18 years old. It's been almost 5 years now. And, for years, I tried to keep it secret. Everyone acted like I had something to be ashamed of. I've heard people ask why adoption wasn't an option? Why could I not parent that "baby"? And, I've been called a murderer. A killer. And, as much as I want to pretend that doesn't hurt. It does.
And, first and foremost, my reasons are no one's business, if I tell you about it, it is because I CHOOSE to. However, I am extremely Pro-Choice and this is something I am passionate about. Now, I have friends who do not agree with what I've done, friends who don't even know and friends who are more than supportive. But, the ones who disagree, they remain respectful of me as a person. I give them respect for their beliefs in return.
Now, I saw the top picture on my Facebook news feed. For the record, I went back to comment on it, and it was gone. I don't know why. It screamed at me. Because, last week, I had posted a news story, stating that [a certain story] was amazing but I hoped it wouldn't be used for Pro-Life Propaganda. The person who posted that status, commented on the news story I posted. Her comment is the first one in the second picture. During which, she referred to abortion as murder. (she has been removed from my friend's list now)
Now, she was unaware of the fact that I had had an abortion. But, regardless, this woman just called me a murderer. I didn't remove her from my friend's list, because I honestly feel that she just doesn't understand the full effect of outlawing abortion. And, I will be explaining more about my abortion AND why I am Pro-Choice, but for now, we are focusing on these two pictures.
In the first picture she says that someone has called her an idiot and does not respect her because she is a Christian. She goes on to call them prejudice, degrading and childish. Well, I most certainly felt degraded when she called me a murderer. That also seems pretty prejudicial. I guess I could call it childish, but, I won't. This person is a hypocrite. This is why most Pro-Choice activists cannot take Pro-Life activists seriously.
See, Pro-Choice means just that. You believe that women have a right to CHOOSE whether or not to continue a pregnancy. Now, this does not ONLY refer to unwanted pregnancies. There are thousands of women each year who have to decide whether or not to carry to term an unhealthy baby, perhaps even one that will not survive at all once born. There are also women who have to choose whether to continue a pregnancy when their own health is at risk. Single women get abortions. Married women get abortions. Women of almost every age group get abortions. Women who already have children get abortions. Women of every ethnicity, economic class and religion get abortions. It's more common than you'd think.
When I had my abortion, I was young and care-free. I didn't mind the fact that I was pregnant. But, I was scared to tell anyone. And, at first, I thought I could do it. But, after a few days, I knew there was NO way I was ready to have a baby. So, the abortion was scheduled. The office was discreet and clean. Not how I imagined it at all. The doctor and nurse were very warm and welcoming. I asked them a ton of questions and they asked me a ton of questions. They counseled me to make sure that I was making the right choice, that it was my choice and that I was of sound mind when making the choice.
The abortion was performed. For months, even years later, I would think about it. But, now, having had 3 children and understanding myself and my reasons, I have absolutely no regrets. If I could go back in time, I would have just done more to prevent that pregnancy. But, as far as the abortion goes, I wouldn't change it. If I went back to that exact moment in time when I signed the consent forms, I would still do it.
Even if I had a hundred people calling me a murderer the entire time. Now, I want to advocate for those who are not strong enough to step forward. Because, abortion needs to stay legal. And, I'm going to tell you why.
1. Outlawing abortion does not prevent abortion. Women will still seek out abortion services. Illegal abortion services, back alley clinics, "coat hangers".
2. Outlawing abortion raises the maternal death rate.
3. Abortion has been legal in the US far more than it has been illegal.
4. Approximately 25% of all pregnancies end in abortion.
5. Abortion does not discriminate.
6. Abortion does not cause breast cancer.
7. Abortion rarely causes psychological problems.
These are FACTS. Conclusions drawn from scientific research, not propaganda. People do not oppose abortion because it is unsafe. They oppose abortion because of their EMOTIONS. Because, "it's just a baby". Actually, it's a zygote, turned embryo, turned fetus. No one is denying that it is a human being. What the Pro-Choicer's do deny is that a fetus has rights.
Now, I have heard many anti-life arguments from so-called pro-lifer's. When they are told that outlawing abortion does not prevent abortion, but instead, women die from back alley abortions, their "pro-life" stance suddenly goes out the window. "Well, that's what she deserves for killing an innocent child". I thought you were Pro-LIFE, that doesn't sound very life-loving to me.
Adoption? Are you forgetting that there are women out there who would not survive a pregnancy? What about the women who could survive the pregnancy but would be out of work? What if they have other children to care for? Adoption is NOT an alternative to abortion. Adoption is an alternative to PARENTING.
Here are some other things about abortion. Some women have what is called a missed miscarriage. This is when the fetus dies but stays intact. A woman must have the pregnancy removed or risk complications that could lead to death. (sometimes a woman will eventually miscarry on her own, naturally) This is an abortion. In fact, I know many women who oppose abortion, but have had to have this exact procedure done. Outlawing abortion would outlaw this life-saving procedure.
There are women who try for years to become pregnant. Then, when they do conceive, they receive devastating news that their baby has a fatal disease. Some women will carry to term. But, others cannot continue the pregnancy with their emotional well-being intact. They need an abortion.
And, back to adoption. See, here's the thing. I have heard plenty of people say that there are more than enough families to adopt all of these would-be children. But, unless these adoptive parents are willing to adopt a new child every 9 months, this would only solve the problem for a year or two. There are over 1 million abortions each year. That means there would need to be over 1 million families willing to adopt every single year.
More so, if these would-be children were born and the women did decide to parent, are you OK with taxes going up even more to provide health care, food, housing for these families? A lot of people who oppose abortion rights also oppose tax increases to fund government aide to poor families.
So, let's get hypothetical here. Abortion is outlawed. There are over 1 million orphans produced each year AND let's say 250,000 new children on government assistance. Older children, who are less likely to be adopted, become orphans when their mothers die from a pregnancy-related complication. Women who would otherwise be in the workforce, producing revenue and stimulating the economy are now relying on government assistance due to job loss after a high-risk pregnancy. Meanwhile the number of starving children is growing. More and more women are dying or becoming seriously ill from obtaining illegal abortion services. Eventually birth control is outlawed. Leading to more of the aforementioned issues. Thousands of women are stuck in unhappy marriages with abusive husbands that they cannot leave because they stay pregnant. Women die from using illegal birth control. Essentially, women's rights will start fading away if abortion is outlawed.
Abortion has been around for hundreds of years at this point. Outlawing it will NOT prevent it.
When I had my abortion, I was reluctant. Wondering if it was really MY choice. And, it absolutely was. It was the best choice for ME. And, now, if I wouldn't have had that abortion, I would have never had my children. Even if I take back every single good reason for having had that abortion, I still would do it, because otherwise, my daughter would have never been born, or my sons. I would have never opened my eyes to see the truth about abortion rights and why it is so important to keep abortion safe and legal.
And, I'm sure that many of you will lose respect for me now. I'm prepared. I'm just not ashamed of it anymore. It doesn't make me any less of a woman. And, I am a damn good mother. So, should anyone want to mention that I don't deserve my children, just remember that that says a lot more about you than it does me.
I am breaking down these barriers. Women should not have to hide the fact that they've had an abortion. I know a lot of women who have had an abortion, but they only mention after I first mention that I've had one. They are scared. Scared of your reaction. Scared of how you will degrade of them. Scared that you will call them a killer, a murderer.
Ladies, I am holding your hand. Don't you dare think for one second that you are a second class citizen because you've had an abortion. It is a legal medical procedure, and you standing up and telling your story will help it remain legal. You do not owe anyone an explanation. And, anyone who would dare think less of you is not someone who has my respect, they are not someone who is deserving of anyone's respect.
I don't care what your stance is. But, if you don't force me to carry to term an unwanted or unhealthy pregnancy, then I will never force you to terminate a wanted or healthy pregnancy. That's the difference. I'm not saying you can't believe what you want to believe. But, as someone who is pro-life, you ARE telling me that I have to follow your beliefs, that you think everyone should have to follow rules based on YOUR beliefs. My beliefs are that everyone can believe whatever they want and live their life accordingly, within the law. Remember, abortion is legal and safe right now. But, people are trying to change that.
If you want to know more about the TRUTHS of abortion, read here: http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_IAW.html
I am so glad that you posted this. There are so many women out there that can benefit from reading this. It isn't something to be ashamed of. You're amazing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, for always supporting me. I really hope that I can inspire other women to break free of the shame and guilt and come to the realization that having an abortion does not define who they are.
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