Bad Mom.

I just had what I call a "bad mom moment". Okay, I'm still having it. Here's the deal. When you have young children, nap time is crucial. For their sanity and for your own. But, it's a lot like getting off work at 5 pm. Eventually you'll get home and will be able to relax (ha, yeah right) but you still have an hour's worth of traffic to push through. So it becomes a love/hate relationship. I love when my children nap. But, getting them there is no easy task.

Today, it was impossible.

I decided to change things up a bit because the youngest was getting to the point where he would only nap for 90 minutes, mid-morning. Not acceptable. He is cranky by 5 pm and refuses to nap again when the older kiddos do, so these leaves a 2 hour period of consoling a whining and just plain unhappy baby.

So, today, I thought, "Hmm, I can just give them a late snack then put them all down for naps at 11:30 and they should sleep for a good two hours and then they can wake up and have lunch". Well, that's not what happened.

But, I needed it to happen. SO bad. There is laundry to put away, floors to sweep, I had paperwork to print off, fill out, scan into the computer and email out. Not to mention that, I haven't showered in 2 days. (no shame)

Well, I gave the kids their snacks and put them all in bed. It seemed to be going okay so I started on my paperwork, which was the most important task of the day. I had to run back into their room a few times for my daughter he will find any excuse to prolong having to actually nap. But, about 20 minutes in, the boys were asleep. I thought she would be on her way, too.

Then, she walked right next to me and insisted on sitting down with me. I told her that she couldn't and needed to go back to bed. The next 20 minutes was a battle. Me telling her to lay down, her asking for a kiss, a hug, a drink of water. Then she needed to pee, then she wanted her Minnie Mouse. And, did I mention that after every single time she gets up she calls for Mommy to cover her back up?

I somehow managed to get my paperwork complete. She wasn't asleep but was quiet. Which is what I needed from her at that time. I didn't want her waking up her brothers as they all, currently, share a room. So, I decided I really needed to take the trash out. Half way through and I hear it. Her talking to her baby brother. She woke him up. And, he is a very loud, very noisy baby. So, my other son was woken up, as well.

By this point I am on the verge of a mental break down. I laid the baby back down and told my daughter it was time for her to lay down and to not get up again. I closed the door and walked away. My thoughts right then were- What now? Do I try to complete anything? Is it even worth it? Should I just shower?

Well, I'll tell you what I did. I put new trash bags in all the trash cans, grabbed my Reese's candy, sat down on the couch and just closed my eyes.

They want up. I will get them out in another 10 minutes or so. And, an hour or so after lunch, we will attempt this nap thing, again. I can't help but feel like I am doing something wrong. That it was selfish of me to leave them in their beds, knowing they are fully awake. But, right now, I hear screams of joy and laughter. They are clearly not heartbroken over mommy taking a few minutes to herself. I will feel better when I do get them up, instead of being angry that I did not complete even half of my to-do list, which could easily be finished during a two-hour-long nap.

So, now, I guess I have to go find some lunch for these crazy kids and remind myself that I need a break, too, just as much as they need those naps.