Not Too Late.

I've made a lot of mistakes. As a person, a daughter, a friend, a mother- I am completely imperfect. I accept that. But, I have worlds worth of potential. Someone use to say to me, "But, will you turn that potential into ability"? At first, it confused me. Then, it all hit me at once. I can have all the potential in the world, but if I never do anything with it, then it's a waste. I have been wasting away my life. Making excuses. Finding reasons to not reach my full potential.

Health problems. Mental issues. Single-parenting. Almost every piece of my life has become an excuse. And, by doing that, I have turned myself into a mentally unstable, unhealthy single mom, because I have allowed those things to define me. No longer, I say; no longer.

See, I know I can't go back and redo any part of my life. But, what I can do is start now, back-tracking and doing things that should have been done by now. That is all I can do. And, by doing that, I will be turning my potential into ability.

I have had a lot of bad experiences. And, at the time, I thought they were the end of me. That I could not go on. But, somewhere in the darkness, I found light. And, for sometime now, I have forgotten to find the light when it seems the sun just won't shine for me. I forget that there is something good for me out there. I have gotten to those low points where it seems ending my life would be a better choice than going to the next day.I'm not ashamed to say this. I appreciate the good moments of my life more than the average person, I believe, because for so long I didn't think there was any good in me.

I am a positive person. Optimistic. Yes, sometimes, that fails. Sometimes, I fail. And, I think admitting that I have faults, that I do get down, that I sink back down into darkness allows me to get back to the light quicker. I try not to lie to myself. I don't always like the honesty. It hurts, sometimes. It is necessary, however, for me to move forward with my life. I have to be able to tell myself those things I don't want to hear.

Failing does not make me a failure anymore than winning makes me a winner. It's all about attitude. Being positive and optimistic is what makes me able to achieve my goals. And, no matter how far I may fall down, I can and will always bring myself back up.